"Sinatra-ing" My Son

I am making a list for my baby boy of rules that I want him to learn so he will be considered a modern day gentleman.  I want woman to look at him differently than the average Joe Schmoe that walks around trying to be cool. I want him to embody the inherently cool aura that surrounds some lucky few men such as Frank Sinatra. They effortlessly stroll through life with a sense of style while simultaneously having a swagger of unending confidence.

Matty Blue Eyes

Growing the next Larry Bird

I'm making a plan.....
When I look at my baby boy, I see what can be... I see hopes and dreams... I see so many paths and possibilities waiting to decide the character of my son.... In short, I see opportunity.  I don't know if every father sees this in his son when he watches him play, but it is a rush of emotion and thoughts when I do.  What do I want for him?... To grow up and become someone that inspires others. Frankly,  I want to grow the next Larry Bird.  Now saying that doesn't mean that my 401K is going to be spent on a crazy European adventure any time soon.  I'm not talking about making a millionaire basketball stud.   No, what I mean by that is I want my son to have the traits that made a seemingly ordinary looking fellow with feathered hair gain the nickname "Larry Legend".  So after watching the Bird vs. Magic series once again, I wanted to list 5 of the things that I strive to impart to my son that I feel Larry best embodied.
1. Always assume things are going your way-  When Larry was down, he didn't ever switch his game up and start to play defensively.  He was always on the attack, always looking to drive the nail in the coffin and go home a winner. Always stay optimistic!
2. Surprise people by giving more than they think you have- I'm not meaning dollars here folks, I mean guts.  As an adult, the majority of things that we do are in a team oriented environment.  When your group knows that you have done what was expected of you, and then even maybe picked up a little slack from a team mate (colleague) it will rarely go unnoticed.  You might not get immediate praise from your group, but that will stick in their mind and guess who they will look to when the chips are down... #33
3. Make those around you better-  Larry was on a good team, but he made them all better.  Being able to inspire those around you to step their game up to the next level is pretty key.  Helping others to reach their potential will never be forgotten, and you will always be the cornerstone to a championship team.
4. Be able to admit you had an off night-  Sometimes even the Legend had a bad night.  He took a much different approach than what seems to be en vogue now.  He took full responsibility for not only himself, but his team.  He understood that being a leader meant being responsible for those around you.
5. Have laser focus-  Without having that insane focus he showed night after night, Bird couldn't have sunk such clutch game winning shots.  He was able to really understand what was important, tune everything else out, and complete the task in front of him.
     These 5 things are so important in life as well as basketball, that I wouldn't be doing my job as a father if I didn't introduce my son to these traits.  I struggle with these myself, so I will have to concentrate on becoming a better man to lead by example while he's growing up.
Oh yeah, I also can't wait to show him how to drain 3's while the defense is all over you..

Super Matty!

To Spank or not to Spank.... That is the question

My parents hit me.... Yeah, it sounds terrible, but as a child I didn't see anything wrong with it. It didn't feel wrong and truthfully after about 5 minutes I don't even think that it was registered under the "why i hate my parents" list.  Now when I say that my parents hit me, I don't mean that they balled up their fist and gave me a "To the moon, Alice" Haymaker blow to the chops.  Nope, they gave me a spank on the butt and then restated to me why it had happened.  Invariably I had either done something really wrong or talked my brothers into doing something that they of course got caught doing..... So looking back, when we set the kitchen floor on fire because we were acting out "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" would it have been effective if we had just been given a stern talking to?  I really don't think so... So now that I have a son, am I going to spank him?  He is 8 months old and of course I'm not going to be spanking him anytime soon.  When he is old enough to understand right and wrong though, a paddle to the hind end is as good as reinforcer as we as parents have at our disposal.  In this day and age, being sent to the room is no punishment at all, heck , it might even be a nice break for them. Finally they would be able to catch up on their own blog or Halo game.  But giving a spank at just the right time can be used as a reinforcement to a newly learned lesson or a behavior that is just unacceptable.  I am sold on spanking, not hitting a child.  There is a huge difference, one is done in anger and the other with the intent on raising a productive memeber of society.  I feel that if there was continued beatings, or using like a belt or something really crazy, then that is going a bit old school and should never happen anymore.  An open hand to the butt of your child one time to say "No, don't do this, this brings consequence" isn't a bad thing in my view.  The bottom line for me is a moment of pain is well worth enduring to grow up to be a good man.

Balancing Sand Castles with iPads

      Lately I have heard alot about children getting iPods, cellphones, and other gimos that I would love to own myself.  When I remember back (seems like WAYYYY back) I don't remember having any care or particular attraction to TV's or other electronic devices.  Maybe that is selective memory or maybe that's just the part of the generation that I grew up in, but whatever the reason, it is seemingly very different than the current crop of young men and boys.  I have to confess, I understand their fascination with gadgets being a bit of a gadget freak myself now (which might be attributed to the levels of electronic awesomeness that we have achieved) but I am left in constant wonder when I see a little boy sitting on a step staring at a little plastic box instead of kicking a ball around or getting covered head to toe in mud and grime.  Aren't little boys supposed to come home with garden snakes and PB&J sandwiches stuffed in their pockets instead of HDMI cables and PSP's?  What is my little guy going to fill his day up with during the summer months if kickball and baseball aren't alternatives?  What fun is hide and seek if you are using "Google Latitude" enabled smartphones? 
     I believe the only way to fight the allure of a built in electronic babysitter starts with valuing the time spent "playing" with others.  All those hours spent rolling in the dirt playing football had so many benefits unrealized until they were lost.  How can today's toddler learn to make mud pies from a iPad?  How can they really get the full benefit of learning to "run out to the stump and make a left" as a football pattern.  Losing the "hands-on" aspect of playing games with each other can only lead to a more solitary and sedentary lifestyle in my view.  I can't remember the last time that I saw kids playing leap frog...Can you?
   I am going to work really hard in impressing on my son Matty the importance of playing games with others and enjoying the simplistic activities one can only find in a park. I really don't know any better way of being a good example for my son other than by practicing what I preach... This means that I am going to have to put down the iPod, put down the Cell and get off the computer when the sun is shining.  As a one income family, the other benefit of this is realizing that being so completely connected to the Internet and to our gizmos is how much fun can be had for no cost.  As a Dad, I love this part, but WOW is it going to stink learning how to live without my iPod.... Oh well... At least I'll get to work on my jump shot again!

Movies and Television that shaped my view on Fatherhood

I was thinking about the movies and TV shows that have really shaped my views on Fatherhood and wanted to make a list of the movie/TV fathers that have made an impact on my life.  Please feel free to let me know any ones that have impacted you that I missed in the comments!

1. Tony Soprano= Provide for your family and murder anyone that gets in your way....lol

2. Al Bundy= Hate your life quietly and go to your happy place when life seems to be going terribly

3. Dan Connor= Be bigger than anyone else in the room

4. Andy Taylor= Be able to give direction gently but firmly for life lessons

5. Clark Griswold= Never give up on your dream for your family, always stay positive
6. Kevin Spacey (American Beauty)= Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family
7. Don Vito Corleone= You are the head of the family
8. Ray Barone= Learn a balance between life and work

My little man

How can I be a better Daddy?

I've been asking other Dad's that I talk to recently what the best advice that they can share for a new member of fatherhood is.  I have received some really interesting and insightful answers and I wanted to be able to share them with others.  Advice handed down from generation to generation seems to stay relevant even in this crazy age that we live in, and it always rings true. I think that some of the answers given to me are really great bits of advice for living a better life in general, and they have profoundly made an impact on my own life.  I've gotten some really unique answers from each person I've asked.  Whether you are a new Dad or you were given some good thoughts from your Dad I'd like to hear it.  Please take the time to post your own advice if you don't mind, I would really appreciate any advice that will help me grow a healthy young man!

Thanks so much!

Captain Adorable.... to the rescue!

My Baby Boy Stood up!

Today while at work my wife called me and let me know that our little boy had stood on his own for the first time!  Wow, what opportunities for mischief this opens up!  He has been "Cruising" for awhile now but this is a real first!  I guess it's time to start practicing Lay-up drills tomorrow...lol  I can't wait for all the stuff that is coming up in the future, teaching him how to play catch and shoot baskets, but when I walk in from work and see Matty's smile while he squirms around in Moms arms I absolutely treasure that moment.

Honk honk Daddy

Matty honking Daddys nose

Hand to Eye Coordination

almost 8 months old... starting to work on hand to eye coordination.  Rolling the ball to him and letting him pounce on it.  Sometimes its with his hands, sometimes its mouth first.  Whatever, as long as its getting him use to going after the ball.. Counting this as his first introduction into sports... VERY happy!

My little crawler

So i have a 7 1/2 month old that is standing up on furniture and zooming around on all 4's.  He is making me think how woefully unprepared I am in having the house baby proofed.  How do people know what to do to their house to baby proof?  I feel like the books and magazines out their are for a different demographic than me.  I don't know how to balance my love of electronics with my love for my baby boy.  Does having a little guy mean that i cannot have any plugs or wires laying around for the next 7 yrs? I love him so desperately and would gladly never watch TV again if it meant that he would grow up healthy and happy...